Moving day bloopers

Round 2 - Moving day bloopers

Hello - I thought I'd send this out to you while I still had some connectivity....and sanity, and a marginal sense of humour....

First, a special thanks to all of you who came to my aid, sending jokes via text message and email. All greatly appreciated.

Special mentions to my brother who responded to my email saying - "I'd send a joke, but if I just put my name on this email and send it back to you, you'll have a good laugh."

Another friend sent me Dharma comics and a very appropriate quote about the ability to laugh at one's own foolishness... very funny, ha, ha!

Conversely, I rec'd one with assorted pictures of when it is OK to use the F word (highly appropriate); a vomiting pumpkin; a couple of text jokes that I cannot repeat (but will admit that I laughed at them); some corrections to my grammar; response to what a parky is (some very British word used as an adjective meaning COLD); and various other things.

The volume joke prize has to go to Sarah, who sent me 14 jokes via email, as well as her own account of carpet cleaning adventures 101 - highly amusing. Made me feel much better actually.

So, yes, the movers are finally here today and tomorrow. Bizarrely, one of the movers is deathly allergic to all animals - he might be in the wrong business.... So he's in the truck - much to the chagrin of the other two movers who are doing all the heavy lifting. Subsequently, this means I need to stay in one end of the house with the dogs, while the movers are picking everything up - I might never find anything again in the new house!

Status:
Found: mobile phone charger, as well as daughter's lost mobile; digital camera charger and digital camera.

Exhumed: one whole case of champagne!!! Ex's spare BMW key (lost since 2004!) - however, that might get lost again - I'll try to keep track of it though and when you're back from Indonesia, please remember to ask me for it!

Lost: spare VW key.... um, also misplaced the address of garage where VW is actually being repaired (it is somewhere in the paperwork boxes, I hope).

Nearly lost: Two dogs, as they disappeared round the corner, heading for the park, flying past the allergic moving man. I can't tell who was moving faster, him or the dogs.

Charitable contributions: The charity swear box is filling up slowly today (how cool is that). Although it hit the jackpot last week,- the VW incident was particularly lucrative. That said, I can't afford to say the F word anymore - OK, I know that's the goal, but sometimes nothing else will really cover it quite the same.

Like when I dropped the 18th-century painting by John Wilson - in its original, nearly pristine frame. The painting survived, but the frame is a bit smaller now. As I was outside the new house, I managed to contain myself, and didn't even swear - all I said was - 'What an idiot' - (it was me that dropped it). My son stared at me in disbelief as I attempted to pick up all the fragments from the street. It's very hard to distinguish smashed gilded frame bits from autumnal leaves - but I did manage to collect most of the bits. Anyone know a good restoration person?

Oh - and the highlight this morning was the invitation I received to one Halloween party by neighbor: was in the middle of attempt to extract the last box from my truck (which I had left overnight, as I was just too knackered last night to move it after the 3rd trip). Of course, my rear-end was well exposed as I dragged the box out. That's when a man, who I think is my neighbor, jogs passed me, stops, introduces himself, and then invites me to a party.

I did thank him, said yes, saying 'Great, that's when I'll be in my natural state.'- He just looked at me and said, in a very British polite way - 'Well, yes, I'll just drop an invite through your door to remind you then, shall I?' -- Do you think he'll do it?

CORRECTION: Lastly, I think I hit the send button too soon the other day.... apparently BT's core business is changing.... that's all I can figure as there's really no other explanation for how they managed to so completely mess up a transfer and cancellation in terms of telephone lines and broadband service.

Now that I have another new number, it won't be active till tomorrow, even though the main house line has now been disconnected. That's why I have a back up.... but really.

Please continue to send jokes by text and email (though email might prove difficult from tonight onward!)

Previous plea for aid...

In dire need of humour ....

The movers are scheduled to be here on Monday and Tuesday. Next week my daughter has French Orals, her Extended Essay, and her Personal statement due. My son also has school he cannot miss. This weekend I am packing everything in boxes as the movers are not packing-- just lifting, driving, and lifting again.

Every room in the departure house is in upheaval: there are boxes and paper and bin bags throughout. Have now lost mobile phone charger, a mobile phone, I've run out of packing paper, the laundry soap has fallen out of the cupboard on the kitchen floor and the vacuum parts are scattered. I can no longer locate the iron (not that I've ever known how to use one anyway).

One teenager has spent the entire day trying to sift through the mountains of paper and magazines in his room. I asked him to put all the clothes he never wore into bin bags for the charity shop. When I went upstairs he had three bags in the hallway. I was amazed and said - 'Is all this for Oxfam?' He looked at me and said 'No, you told me to put all my clothes in bin bags.' So my son has selective hearing and the new old dog is as deaf as a door post.

Scooby (new old dog) thinks he's a tank. Yesterday he tried to walk through the rose garden. He hooked his ears on the thorns of one particularly prickly specimen, and carried on walking until he could walk no further, completely entangled in the rose bushes. After I managed to extract him from the thorns, Sirius felt so bad for him that he licked Scooby's ears. But then, Sirius threw up in the corner of the front hall.

Several nights ago the VW was towed to some garage in Yeovil (a town I've never been to in my life, and I'm sure it's not near either house) - something about a very expensive sump thing needing to be replaced. No, I didn't hug the RAC man when he finally put me into a cab (but I wanted to). On the way home, the cab driver felt so bad for me (because I had a little cry in the back of his car) that he pointed out the yoga healing centre in Queen Camel, suggesting that I book myself in!!!

What's worse (could it get worse?), not only is my head on fire from work, but I also managed to set my hair alight with a candle. An emergency appointment with my hair dresser fixed the damage, but my hair feels a lot shorter....

Please send me something funny in an email - so if I ever get the BT connection up and running in the new house, I'll be able to read my emails and at least have a laugh.