Making lists & counting out loud

Ok, so it’s been a while since I’ve gotten it together enough to post something here. I feel I should apologise for having been ‘away’ so long – after all, the promise of a blog is that it will not only be updated frequently, but that it will entertain, offer a bit of inspiration and perhaps even be poignant. Only you can decide once you’ve finished reading this entry if I’ve measured up to expectations (yours and mine).

So here goes…

Have you ever had one of those deeply meaningful conversations with someone you know really well, a kind of quiet discussion, one where you don’t even have to speak out loud? Well, that’s exactly the sort of ‘last’ conversation I had with my sister just over a year ago.

It happened after I thanked her for waiting for me, right after I told her how sorry I was for taking so long to come home. It was then that she looked right at me, put her hand in mine and gave me a knowing squeeze. In that moment it seemed like a lifetime of wisdom passed between us. In my heart, I knew she understood how sorry I was for having missed out on the last fifteen years of Christmas lunches, graduations, bon-fires, walks on beaches, weddings, birthdays… the list goes on and on: I was busy- caught up in the drama of my own life. But she understood.

You see, to help put things in perspective, this last weekend marked the one year anniversary of my sister’s death. I have been keenly aware of this date for months now. In fact, I’ve been counting down the days in the diary even though there was nothing there formally ticked.

That’s why I needed a bit of space to retreat. For those of you who were depending on me for various social or sport engagements, I’m sorry if I let you down. I just wasn’t feeling up to group anything. I needed the time off to rewind to those last few moments I spent with what was left of my sister because that was when I started my list, when I really began to count out loud.

Here it is – 26th July 2007 – 26th July 2008:

• Worked 117 late nights (a significant improvement)
  
• Got 100% on my Britishness test (honest)
  
• Became a permanent resident in the best country in the world (the UK)
  
• Slept under the stars 9 ½ times (far too few I know)
  
• Got lost in the clouds and admired at least one sunrise or sunset 365 times
  
• Purchased 6 new paintings
  
• Wrote 26 new poems
  
• Attended 4 operas, 3 ballets, 7 theatre productions, one panto, 2 concerts & one fancy dress party
  
• Learned a lot about helicopters and snipers (both extremely interesting)
  
• Started training to swim the English Channel (Sep 2008)
  
• Swam at least 264,000 metres to date (and still counting)
  
• Rode my bike approximately 437 miles and walked about 163 miles
  
• Lost 1.5 stone (21 pounds)
  
• Broke a toe (mermaids have trouble walking on real feet)
  
• Purchased 1,682 new songs from iTunes (and still counting)
  
• Lost 3 friends (verdict is still out on one of them, I remain optimistic)
  
• Re-established ties with 6 old friends
  
• Became friends with 17 new people (not virtual friends, real ones)
  
• Bought 7 iPod shuffles (it is remarkably easy to run them over when they unwittingly fall out of the car door)
  
• Made 6 wishes (so far I have a 50% success rate)
  
• Recited 14,640 Hail Marys (old habits)
  
• Navigated kids through another school year (2 different schools)
  
• Danced all night long once (not enough)
  
• Got very drunk 3 times (maybe enough)
  
• Read 37 new books (room for improvement)
  
• Raised almost £600 for AsthmaUK (a marginal performance, maybe you can help)
  
• Volunteered 253 hours of time to charitable activities (my dream job – to become a professional volunteer – see next bullet)
  
• Helped 8 people to realize a dream (it’s a feel good thing)
  
• Told someone I loved them at least once a day, every day
  
• Rescued one lamb (so cute, I might never eat lamb chops again)
  

All in all, I’d say I had a pretty good year. I think my sister would agree it was well worth it.

Kxxx